Dear Gilbert
by AngieRouge
Summary: Berlin's wall has just fallen. Celebrations aren't over yet but Gilbert's cheery mood changes as he receives an unexpected letter.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, it belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya**

**Didn't know how to name this, that title just sucks. Let me know if the translations (or my English) are wrong and I will correct them. Enjoy :) **

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Moonlight caressed the roofs of the houses. The candid and fresh snow that covered them seemed to be made of millions of tiny little diamonds. And there was peace.

People singing and laughing euphorically could still be heard in the distance. The concrete monster had fallen. The wall, the barrier of grief and hatred that had tear up Berlin, didn't exist anymore. An entire city, along with his inhabitants, had rediscovered life.

A gust of wind ruffled Gilbert's hair, three days had passed since the night he had turned on the tv and that unforgettable piece of news was being broadcasted. A smirk tilted the corners of his lips as he mentally retraced the reunification with a stunned Ludwig and the three days of non-stop party that had followed.

Then, acting solemn as if he were to speak up to the world, while actually the street was deserted, he declared:

"And once again, meine Damen und Herren, my dazzling awesomeness hypnotized the world! Kesesese! Those chicks at West's couldn't resist, we reunificated sooo hard! Hehe East is awesome… wait, I almost forgot, I'm East!"

Saying so he reached his home, now that he and his brother could finally live together many things needed to be reorganized.

As he approached the door, still humming _Looking for Freedom_'s refrain, he noticed something white was lying in front of it "Was ist das? A letter?" and picked it up.

_For Gilbert, please read_

The pearl white haired man recognized that handwriting immediately. He would have recognized it out of a million. It was Russia's.

He stood still for a moment, let go a tired and painful sigh and entered home. The lights and the tv were still on, he didn't even think of turning them off when, two nights before, he had ran outside to go find his brother.

He turned off the tv and left the letter on the end table in front of it. With a glass of Asbach Uralt in his hands he sat on the sofa and stayed there for a long while, his crimson eyes on that blinding white envelope.

The party atmosphere, the laughter, the music and those overflowing beer mugs were gone, replaced by that muffled silence that reigned in the room, by that letter.

Gilbert finally took the envelope from the table. He would have loved to downplay the moment with a teasing remark on Ivan's childish handwriting or something, but words just didn't make it through his throat. He swallowed a mouthful of schnaps and opened the letter.

_прости__меня__. I'm sorry for all that I've done to you._

it started with an insecure handwriting…

_Please keep reading this till the end East… that's how everyone is supposed to call y__ou now, Да__? DDR… does no longer exist._

_Anyway, everyone is talking about my possible… well the fact that soon I might… just fade. If that should happen, there are things I want you to know, dorogoy Gilbert._

_I don't know if you can remember that day. You were confused, lethally wounded, you were shocked. I guess that day is no longer part of your memories… the day I wrapped my arms around you for the first time._

_That day, my dorogoy Gilbert, I found a son._

_You needed cures and someone who could show you a new path, so I took you home with me, how couldn't I? Please, believe me when I say that from the very beginning, deep down in my heart, my intention has always been to save you, to give you warmth, to give you life. Apparently, I failed._

_Each night horrible nightmares would take advantage of you. You would shatter silence with screams that seemed to rip out your throat. During the day no traces of those nightmares would emerge, but as night fell… hell would be there waiting for you. Was that my fault? Was it all because of me? What did you dream of East?_

_I'm afraid I will never get to know the answer to those questions, but I guess I deserve it… maybe I ought to be punished._

_Сын__, I'm sorry. If I have ever hurt you, if I demanded too much… that wasn't made on purpose. I just wanted to keep you close, I wanted you to stay with me, I thought the two of us could find happiness together._

_You were my reason for pride, my precious diamond. How could I want to hurt you. I'm sorry if that's what I ended up doing, I really am sorry dorogoy Gilbert._

_I miss you Gilbert. Since you left, these immaculate and cold walls that surround me can no longer be called 'home'._

_I'm badly ill now, but you already know that. People talk, people insinuate… they are all hoping for me to give up on my dream. Their words hurt me, a lot. I don't know for how long I'll be able to keep my energy up. _

_Dorogoy Gilbert, will you, my precious one, forgive me? I'm not asking you to come back to me, I've already been enough egoistic. I could never do that again. Before I leave, I just want an answer… even just one syllable, even just two letters, a 'ja' or a '__Да__'… those two letters would mean coming back to life for me. _

_So please, please forgive me my dorogoy Gilbert._

_Искренне__Ваш__, Ivan_

A tear melt away the signature's ink. But no one would have ever known about that tear, or about the many others that followed. As a new day came East had to show the world that he was strong and capable of making decisions by himself. Everyone, including his brother, needed to know that Gilbert was still awesome. There was no place for tears, no place for the past, no place for the one who loved him.

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**Thanks a lot for reading, hope you liked it.**

**Translations **

**German**

**meine Damen und Herren = ladies and gentlemen**

**was ist das = what is that**

**ja = yes  
**

**Russian**

**прости****меня**** (Prastee Meeynya) = I'm sorry**

**dorogoy = dear, dearest**

**сын**** = son**

**Искренне****Ваш**** = sincerely yours**

**Да = yes  
**


End file.
